The BIA decision

The Board of Immigration Appeals has denied mine and my family's appeal to stop removal proceedings from the U.S.

This sparks a few fears and concerns in me that I cannot go without expressing.

What's going to happen next? Am I in removal proceedings as I write? I'm so freaked out and then not sure how to react.

Immigration has always been a sensitive topic amongst my family growing up. My dad never talked about it with us (my brother and I) and hushed us up if we brought it up. He was always the right one and knew what to do.

Unfortunately, our silence and his decisions have led us to where we are today. Of course we broke the silence in 2007 when I got arrested on immigration charges and spent nearly 4 months in immigration detention. We had no choice but to talk about it. However bad it felt then, I realize now that it was some kind of blessing. An odd one but a blessing none the less. Getting arrested finally led to some action on my case, something that was lacking for years.

Now that I have kids, this uncertainty & fear of the unknown is magnified. If only I had the guts to speak up then and talk to our lawyers or go further back and talk to my dad. I'd explain to him that the decisions he was making would harm us in the future. That he should not give conflicting testimonies and make us sign under the dotted lines. It isn't fair what has happened to us, that our own father, someone I know loves and cares deeply for us decided such terrible ideas would help his kids in the future. I know he didn't mean to hurt us but fear, a stubborn attitude and pride got in the way of his better judgement.

Now the court feels we have poor moral character and that we are not worthy of living in a country that we have called home for over 20 years. Is this right? I know we have made errors but is it right to judge us poorly and take away our right to live in this country because of our father's mistakes?

What about family culture, the fear instilled on us from immigration proceedings and my father's decision to keep us out of the decision making? Are we to blame for not speaking up because of the fear my father would get upset. When we were younger, it was enough to shut us up from one of the most important decisions he would make on our behalf.

It's not all black and white. There are complications in this case and the court should realize that. We'll have to wait and see what the future has in store for us...yet again.

Thanks for reading,
Urmi Sharna